The Birthday Speech
Thank you so much again for coming.
How the project has grown from our first beach morning back in 2021.
The Phoenix has spread her beautiful fire-soaked wings further and farther than ever before.
We had 120 people at the rooftop Opening party back in December last year.
The Beach Morning requests taken on that night led to both January and February being fully booked.
With so many bookings lined up, I realised we’re going to need a venue worthy of such outrageous celebration.
So here we are,
Filling up one of the greatest hotels in the entire world, with full stomachs and even fuller hearts.
Not too shabby.
When I was putting the numbers together, seeing this plan for the road ahead, I remember thinking to myself, if I can manage to pull this off, if I can get this done - this day, this Birthday will easily be the proudest day of my life.
So over the last 2 months, there have been almost 200 hours completed across 15 beach mornings, and 11 Coffee Mornings resulting in 22 new members lovingly welcomed into the Phoenix Project. Bringing the total membership to an astonishing 33.
Holy shit balls.
So… how on earth did we get here?? How on earth indeed?
On the Phoenix instagram is an excerpt from a quote from Nobel Prize-winning writer Albert Camus. In a letter to his beloved in 1956, he wrote:
“My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back. Truly yours, Albert”
For me that is the most perfect description of what your Phoenix really is.
You can call it the voice inside, your authentic self, your deeper self, your knowing, your animal self, your wild, your primal power, your gut, your instincts, your intuition.
But I like to think of it as Camus did, as an invincible summer that lies brilliant, burning and bright within each and every one of us
A life force of impossible energy, of goodness and greatness,
of so much power that it can take on the world and win!
An engine of possibility, a source of infinite wisdom and guidance,
that knows the way through, that knows the path we must take…
If we can only stop and pause to listen to it.
Liviu Ciulei, a Romanian theatre director from the 80s, used to say a very beautiful thing to his team backstage during the always frantic start of his Broadway productions
‘We have very little time. We must slow down.’
It hammers home the idea, that counter-intuitively: the more we slow down, the more time we actually have.
It reminded me of the story of the Buddhist monk declaring to his students that they all must do 10 minutes of meditation every day. Unless they were really busy, in which case they should do an hour.
Truer words were never spoken.
So can we slow down?
Can we create a life built around our peace, stillness and calm
For our Phoenix does not shout, nor does she scream, she offers us - but a whisper.
And only those who prioritise their peace are the ones capable of hearing her quiet guidance
Those who allow her to be drowned out by all the razz-ma-tazz and rampant overwhelm of the outside world wonder why they feel so lost.
One of my favourite quotes I’ve been sharing on the Beach Mornings recently is
“I realised life was one big obstacle course, and it turned out I was the biggest obstacle”
Life really is the art of getting out of your own way.
And by ‘getting out of your own way’, I mean surrendering to the path that your Phoenix knows to be the right one for you.
It is the path that will be the most effortless, frictionless, limitless - but also somehow the path that makes you the most capable and productive.
The tombstone of the American writer and poet Charles Bukowski reads simply “Don’t try”.
And this is what I believe he was getting at.
Surrendering to your lightest path, your lightning line, your Autobahn is the only way to embrace your greatest capabilities.
That means not being afraid to
Follow our fascinations
Indulge in our dreams
Dive into our curiosities
Chase the extraordinary
Obsess over that which brings our life to life
As Elizabeth Gilbert says “Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart.”
We must learn to get out of our way, to follow the flow, follow the fire, follow the Phoenix.
And see just how grand a masterpiece she wishes to create with our lives.
What could something that beautiful even look like?
Is it even possible?
Well, I’m here to tell you it certainly is, because I’m staring right at it, and it’s the most incredible thing I have ever seen.
And that’s you guys. My people. My tribe.
One character asks “Which is more important, the journey or the destination? “The company” his friend replies.
What we are playing witness to right now is the very essence of the Sovereign’s legend.
For the Sovereign must go out into the world in search of understanding of who he or she is, and in search of a place to call home.
It’s only when they know who they are, are they capable of creating a home of safety, security and beauty for themselves in their own heart. Only then are they capable of growing, expanding and creating a palace ready to welcome, nourish and protect others too.
If you cannot find your people, if you cannot find your tribe, you must go out and build one with your bare hands.
This can take the form of a family, a business, or a charity. Or all three.
But our sense of purpose, meaning, and fulfilment is aggressively intertwined with this sovereign destiny because from an evolutionary perspective, this is what has secured the greatest success of the species over the last 4.6 billion years.
We have evolved to do two things, to achieve and to belong, and the more we connect with ourselves, the greater we become at both. It really is that simple.
In the animal world, it is the one that adapts best to their environment that survives.
In the human world, it is the one that adapts their environment best to them that thrives.
We even have the two completely different brains to prove it.
The neocortex is our human brain, the limbic system is our animal brain.
The human achieves. The animal belongs.
The human is the doing. The animal is the being.
‘Human’. ‘Being’.
The Sovereign and the Phoenix
are in every single one of us.
Service is the ultimate engagement of both. In achieving through service, we belong to the people we serve - our tribe.
In service, we have one Sovereign purpose but many missions during our lifetime.
The first mission is to serve yourself, to serve all parts of you unconditionally and to be dedicated to creating the greatest version of you that could ever possibly be.
Your second mission is to your people, and being dedicated in great-hearted service to them, giving the love that you never received once upon a time, back to the world. Your damnation becomes your salvation. What once divided every part of you becomes the uniting, integrating force that makes you unstoppable.
Understandably one of the most frequent questions I get is why is everything you offer as part of The Phoenix Project free of charge? Why would you do all this for nothing?
Well for starters, it’s not for nothing, but perhaps rather for everything that truly counts.
To really answer that question, I think we just have to appreciate the unbelievable courage and fortitude it takes for someone to actually reach out, to ask for support, to ask for help, to share their feelings and their story and to talk about the reality of their challenges.
And I think my worst nightmare would be to find out about someone who managed to summon that courage, someone who is finally ready to reach out but on seeing an arbitrarily selected price tag realises it was all in vain, that there is no hope of help there.
I couldn’t imagine anything worse. We have to do anything we can to remove barriers, to encourage every single one of us to speak up, to take up space, to honour our voice and our truth.
Is it any wonder that those who had the courage to reach out and book their Coffee Mornings and Beach Mornings, to bare their soul and honour their truth just so happen to be the most stunning examples of humanity that I’ve ever encountered. So brave and so beautiful. Truly incredible human beings.
To you glorious 33. I will forever be in awe of you and in the deepest gratitude for you choosing to be a part of The Phoenix Project. Holding space for you is an honour and privilege that leaves me forever in your debt, a debt I feel I can only repay by holding space for the next brave and beautiful person who seeks support.
Knowing I’ve made a difference, knowing that I’ve added value to your lives, is the greatest most wonderful thing, I could ever wish for. Life can’t get any more meaningful, I can not feel any more fulfilled than the minutes and hours spent on that rooftop and on that beach.
To quote Dr Caroline Leaf,
“Your purpose is not the thing you do, it’s the thing that happens in others when you do it”
Witnessing you here today, has made this the proudest day of my life,
a Sovereign’s dream and legend come true indeed.
The serenity prayer is a prayer used by the Alcoholics Anonymous community, the people most on the edge of their lives, and they use it as their anchoring mantra,
“Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference”
Well for Beach Mornings I give it a slight twist to turn it into the Dreamer’s prayer.
“Lord/God/Universe, give me the serenity to dream. Give me the courage to chase after those dreams and make them real. But most importantly, give me the wisdom to realise when I am actually living those dreams.”
The incessant dreamer, the chaser, the achiever in all of us must at some point stop and wake up to realise when we are actually living our dreams. Or else what’s the point?
How many previous, younger versions of you are looking at you now, looking at the person you have become, the impossible obstacles you have overcome, and thinking, you did it. You fkng did it!! You absolute fucking legend.
We must stop to remember in our darker moments, that these previous versions of ourselves are there cheering us on in every single moment.
The secret to self-improvement really is self-acceptance. We need both the brakes and the gas in order to get where we want to go.
And this is what this birthday party is really about.
To pause.
To slow down and take stock of our achievements.
To take time to acknowledge all the steps that all of us have taken in our lives to get us this far, to get us where we are today
To recognise the unbelievable amount of hard work we have all undertaken
And to look at ourselves square on, and go you know what
Not too shabby.
You did good and you did great.
You really are incredible.
You are spectacular.
And you are glorious!
And I salute you and I celebrate you.
Because the reality is that life isn’t always what or how we want it to be.
Sometimes it can be quite cruel and quite cold.
But a meaningful life is one where hardships are not only acknowledged but embraced. Where they are not only embraced but transformed, used as fuel to propel us, to rocket us into becoming a bigger, brighter and more beautiful soul that never could have existed otherwise.
There is an ancient Latin motto:
Ad Astra Per Aspera
Through hardship, we find the stars
And I think if you look around the room, if you look around your table right now you’ll see that is exactly what you have found: a constellation of the most blindingly beautiful stars the universe has to offer, eyes twinkling, smiles beaming, hearts sparkling…
All here to celebrate the dazzling soul you have become, a source of so much light and love and warmth and kindness that brightens up our universe every single day.
I love you guys very very much, and I look forward to celebrating many more bigger, brighter and more wonderful years with you all at my centre.
Now before we raise our glasses to toast…
We’re just going to pause, we’re going to slow down, and I want your eyes to wander to the person opposite you, chances are you might not have had the opportunity to speak to them yet.
I invite you to hold each other’s gaze.
Notice the eyes twinkling, the smiles beaming, the heart sparkling…
Hold their gaze, keep holding it, witness them, see them, acknowledge and celebrate them…
And still holding their gaze, I invite you to repeat after me, “Here’s to you, you absolute fucking legend!
Cheers!